whats his plan..whats my desire....

Last night I went to this annual event called Warm Winters Evening, it is at held at the Mendel Center. It is a night of dinner and desert and there is a speaker. Last year I wasnt able to go and it was Lori Salerno and this year it was Kerri Pomerolli (sp?). She gave a great testimoney and it is a brilliant comedian. It was a great night of laughter, with a theme of laugh out loud. Doesn't it feel great to laugh. I am so lucky I think because I come from a family wo is always cracking up. Anyhow, it was a great evening and I cant wait until next year.
You know she shared her testimony of how she got to where she is and she asked us what does God want us to do? You know I have such an overwhelming feeling when I see people finnaly discover they matter to Christ or when I see good things happen to people. But I do feel that so many women feel unworthy of Christs love for them. They think that what they have done in their lives are too big or too bad. My dreams are that maybe one day I can travel around and share my testimony and how I accpeted Gods forgiveness. I am on that path right now and its not easy, it is like I have to daily say to myself "now Miki your sins have been forgiven, reach out and accept it". I love the way Karrie put it last, she was talking about how her friend had invited her to church and she went, more or less for the pot luck following... lol. But while she was in church when they were singing she found herself begin to cry and cry, on the way home her friend said "Karrie do you beleive in Jesus?" she was like yeah, duh and then she said "Do you know Jesus died on the Cross?" and then she was like yeah doesnt everyone and she was also wondering where this was going. She then said her friend said "Did you know Jesus died on the cross to save you from you?" HUH..... "To save you from your sins".
I just love that how her friend said to save her from herself, I mean really that is where my problems in life have formed, nobofy else is to blame except for me. No I am not saying that it's okay for men to use and abuse women, however what I am saying is that I set my stadards so low that it made it easy for them. Infact because I had no boundaries set for myself I was very appealing to controlling men. However saying all that, it leads me to what I want to do is just go and share my testimony, I want to share God's word. When I was in junior high youth group I remember having these visions in my head where I was speaking hundreds of people, but I didnt really know them what I would have talked about...yes God but what was I passionate about. Now I know I really want to reach out to women...from teens to young adult to older women.

God please use me, make me strong. I want to grow closer and closer to you. I want share my story to help lead broken hearts to healing. I want to show people of your wonderful gracea and forgiveness. Use me. I want to give me whole self to you. I completley surrender!