God is this what you want??

So I have been without job for a couple months now. My boyfriend who I live with takes care of the bills. Sure it's great but for myself it was scary and a big step.. stepping out relying on another human other than myself. Because I had been let down by so many from this place we call earth. I had begun to really only trust myself. I would show only peices of me and share small parts. But no one really knew cause there is sooo much more. So taking my trust and really allowing for someone to take care of me is/ was scary. For the past couple of months I have had an amazing time with my girls and watching them grow. I have had lots of thinking time and praying time. I know that I want to work but it is about finding the right job.
So I had been going online to look at the jobs that Berrien County has and for the last 5-6 months Juvenile Youth Specialist has been up. I have just gone back on forth about if this is somthing God wants me to do. I would constantly say .. "God is this what you want?" It's like I feel as if the last month and half I have known that it is but I think, I cant do this. I mean at times these kids have to be taken down, and it's got alot that you take home, how do you leave it at the door. I am not sure and I still am thinking, okay God I am going to apply, but I hope your right about this.

My prayer now...... Please father God if this is your will and plan for my life, lead me, give me strength, be by my side, give me words of wisdom, peace, and put my passion to use to give you glory. I put my faith in you and your will for my life and if this be it at this time. You lead and I will follow!

Attcked.... How to Deal!

So I was having a conversation with a really close friend and it included an invite to church. My friend then responded "why?? I mean whats the point. Miki there is no God there is no Heaven. Its all just a waste of time. We live life then its over, we are six feet under."

In my Head I am like running through every emotion but just cry out to God in my head. I then say I am very sorry thats the way you feel, and well since thats not what I beleive it makes me very sad, but that is your choice. Then I turn to watch tv, acting all normal, not upset, mad or hurt, even though I was feeling all of it. A couple minutes go by and my friend says... "I mean its not that I dont beleive but its just all so much, I just dont understand how one person could make all this, it doesnt seem possible and if so, How was God made?"

I then respond... I know, I know exactly how you feel, its seems impossible, I dont understand it all. I dont have all the answers. I just beleive, I just choose to have faith. My friend then says, I mean it could be true, and I am not saying I dont beleive it's just so out there, but how else did we get here...???

I said once again, I understand your questions, you not knowing... I have many questions, I dont understand it all and some stuff seems to be out there but I just choose to beleive its true. I just have faith it is. We went about watching tv and well you know while nothing seemed to be accomplished, I think so much started turning in my friends head, I think my reaction, of kindness, caring, not attacking made the wheels turn more. It's the beginning..... I have faith its the beginning to a life turning to Christ!

Christmas Time Blues

So your thinking... ITs not Christmas. Well thats what I was thinking as I was strolling through Walmart doing my Grocery shopping. Christmas music, Christmas decor, Even Captain Crunch had Christmas cereal and Little Debbie went straight from Halloween snacks to Christmas snacks. It's all soo Crazy! I love Christmas time, ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. But I wait to decorate until December 1st cause I dont want to make those around me tired of before the time comes. But this year walking through walmart, with all the Christmas stuff made me sad. I have no idea how I will make this years Christmas a great one for my girls, it's depressing. No it's not what Christmas is about but well I love to do it. Since I am not working, no money, and childsupport is a once every blue moon when I get it. Ya know what I would love, my Christmas wish, nothing for myself, I would love to have the money to go buy my family and friends a gift they would love, somthing that they could use. I love to give gifts, it's fun, and I really think it's more fun than the recieveing. So I am trying to get over the Christmas time blue's at the beginning of November. BA HUMBUG!

Can you feel it?

There are just some things that you see, hear, and feel that you just know God is there, you can feel he is present. I LOVE IT! When I drive through very wooded areas in the fall I cant help but know there is a God and what a great artist he is. When I look into my daughters eyes or watch them play I see how he creates things to perfection. Isint it great, what God does how he moves and where. I love worship, most times in my life that I have felt God's presence the strongest have been in worship, I would feel the hairs on my body rise and it gives me goosbumps but then I would feel a numbing on my face, it was so peaceful. It cannot describe it. But I have found I feel it most when I am alone and surrendering my all, holding nothing back. God Speaks in the storm and in the quiet, he listens to our wispers and our shouts. He is always near. I love this song it's my prayer!

2008 Race to the White House!

As many of us take the drive to go vote, I am sure many things are going through our head and who we want to win. Like myself and that is fine but lets also remember to pray that God lead, that he be in control and whoever wins this race and becomes our next president, seeks Christ. That they seek him at home, at work and for our country. That being said I have an interesting story to share this was from my friend.

Obamas Redistribution Theory that a friend of mine put in action

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read 'Vote Obama, I need the money.' I laughed.



Once in the restaurant my server had on a 'Obama 08' tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.



When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.



I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.



At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient needed money more.



I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.