A tribute to my mother...

Today the sun is shining and God is smiling cause when he has created things he says this is good. God blessed this earth with mother and ever since she has been putting smiles on the faces of everyone she comes across. It's no lie when I tell you everyone I have come across has said how great of a person my mother is. She is beautiful from the inside out, energetic, loving, caring, fun, eccentric, alive and she lives her life portraying the perfect example of Christ's love... She has always loved me without condition no matter what the circumstance is. She suppoprts me in all I do, she has made me a better person, she taught me how to love she taught me to never judge, she taught me how to put my faith and trust in God, for all circumstances. She is the MOST AMAZING woman I know, the MOST AMAZING grandma and loved by more than I think she realizes, from babies, kids teens, adults and elderly. She continues to tough lives everyday. So today we celebrate her birthday But I celebrate Christ for sending her to us!!!

Pray for Me.

For years now I have felt a tug at my heart a desire to go to India. This year I feel is my year of renewal, change, readership and I feel its time to go. So I am praying that God help make the way for me to go with my church Grantee Community Church. Please pray that God lead me down the path he wants me to take and that if this be his plan that his will be done. Begin to pray that God use me now, not only then but at the juvenile center now. Pray that God use me every part of of me to serve him and that I will see the opportunities to serve when they become present. I want to live my life with meaning and purpose to serves Christ. Pray that God give me the right words to say, let my life be of joy upon others, of unconditional Love. Please pray that God use me.

The Lost, the lonely and the forgotten!

Have you ever watched the news station and seen a horrifc story of a murderer, or someone whom in our eyes, human eyes we see as flawed, a screw up and immediatly judged. What about the man on the corner with the sign begging for money and in your mind you think "yeah right you just want another drink, or your outta dope" I have been guilty of having those reactions at times. But most of the time deep within, I find myself feeling deep pain for the offender, of course I feel it for the victim too but the lost, the lonely, forgotten, the accused touch my heart deeply because I know that within them their is pain, their is hurt and sorrow, they are broken at heart and the Bible says that God draws near to the broken hearted. I desire to be more like Christ live in his image and bring heaven to earth and so why would it make any less sense but for me to draw near to them. I can honestly say in my line of work I have looked at thiefs, murderers in the eyes and seen them for eveything but that label. I see them as someone Christ loves someone Christ gave his life for. Remember that if our Father in heaven can while being beaten to death a horrific death say "forgive them for they know not what what they do". That we too should look past their mistakes, and forgive them. God gives all people gifts and I am thankful the gift he gave me is my Passion for people, hurting people, broken people, lost people, lonely people. I pray that you find it in your heart to Love those that may seem unlovable the way Christ would.

You mean I cant have everything under control??

It all started really at a very young age, my desire to control a situation, to take the lead. Long before I can remember but according to my mother. When I can really remember it is when I was about 12. I shared a room at this time with my sisters who are 6 and 8 years younger than I am. I can remember it like it was yesterday I had positioned my bed in the room so that on the other side I had about 3 feet to the wall this was my space, my bedspread was like a white lace needless and I'm gonna say 99 percent of the time you would find my bed made, everything in its place on my side of the room. Of course at 12 my room was clean because I thought I was a good housekeeper. However this continued for years. When we moved to Texas I had my own room, I got organized and found the perfect spot for each of my things, once I found a place for an item that is where it belonged. If fact it belonged in that exact place so much that if it was moved out of its place even just a little I would feel anxious, so much so that until it was put back in its place that's all I could think of. I would have friends over and then secretly wish they were gone cause they were crowding my space there things were making my space seem out of place. I always just dealt with it, it was never easy. I would often have anxiety attacks if I could not control my enviroment. By the time I was 17 I moved out and I found that I would repetitively clean off counters, counters that had just been wiped down 15 minutes prior. I wanted to see the lines from vacumming. But you see at this time there was a lot of other things in life going on, I had dropped out of school, began to party, drink often and eventually drugs came into the equation, I felt my life spinning out of control and the only thing I had control over, so I thought was my enviroment. I can't remember the exact age I was prescribed paxil, I had taken it for a while except I hated it. I felt not me, strange, sometimes as if I had no emotion. So I got off paxil. I started reading my bible more and trusting God, I also started to tell myself I cannot control everything, and I learned better how to control myself. It's a constant struggle I find when life gets stressful or overwhelming I begin to freak about my home enviroment, my car, it gives me control. What I need to remember is God is in control and if I give it to him, I will be okay, I will survive in the times I feel I am breaking. I hand control of to Him!

My McKenzie

Today I am thinking a lot about my first born, my life saver, my beautiful, so sweet, extremely athletic and smart McKenzie. McKenzie began gymnastics almost two years ago and this weekend is her first gymnastics meet. I am so excited for her and nervous. She has done such an amazing job, she is a hard worker, driven and determined She hopes to be in the olympics someday and ya know I believe in her. I adore watching her do gymnastics cause she loves it so much, its an art and she is so invested. God blessed me almost 9 years ago, I NEVER KNEW I could love so much. McKenzie Taylor a name fit for a star and that she is and will be . Her smile is so infectious, she is that girl that everyone loves. Everyone knows her. I thank God for blessing me with such a sweet girl. My prayer for her is that she continues to grow closer to Christ that she uses her ppopularity to serve Christ being kind to all. I pray that her dreams and wishes come true. That she is able to life to the fullest. MCkenzie Taylor Geralds should you ever come across mommies blog and read this. Know that you are my life and my world that I am so proud of you and that I love you forever and always!!!!

My Prayer for today.. Dear God, Sometimes I let my mouth go to talking before my brain begins the thinking, please help me today to be wise with my words. Help me to think before I speak. Let my word be words of kindness, let my words speak of your mercy and grace, let them be loving. Dear God let me actions help to bring heaven to earth. By my actions let others see you through me. Without God I am nothing. Let my work be done to honor you, remind me consistantly what I do and who my work is for. I want my time on thus earth mean something I want to be of impact. Dear God please heal the hearts of the children that I work with and their families. Let them know they are not alone, they dont have to do this alone. Let them know they are forgiven, that even before they commited the acts they did, they were already forgiven. Let them know they are more precious than gold. HEAL THEIR HEARTS, FILL THEM WITH JOY ABUNDANTLY. Love on them oh Lord. They need you, they are crying out for you. Amen.

Damaged Goods

So I was talking with a good friend whos husband happens to work for my ex. If you know anything about my life lately is has been nothing less than a bad soap opera with lots of drama. An ex who cant move on. So after the most recent "issue" I was talking to my friend today and she said "Im gonna tell you this and I hope it doesnt hurt you" She said when her husband whom I will not name was talking to my ex my ex said "I am over her, she is damaged goods". One may be upset but I felt the opposite which infact may seem weird cause for many years I went through life feeling like I was damaged good, nobody would want me, not worthy of the best, but at this very moment when she told me this I felt sadness not for me but for my ex because it shows his thinking, I find it so sad that someone can feel that there is someone anyone considered dmamged goods. I know better now, because I have drawn close to God I know that I was made for a purpose I am special, beautiful in his eyes. I know that I make mistakes and that I am not perfect but I know that I am not damaged goods. We were all made new again, we were forgiven of our sins, we are precious in his eyes. When someone can go about life and see others as "damaged Goods" my heart breaks because they must not know of Gods unfailing Love, his mercy and his grace. So I sit here with sadness for my ex who spoke these words, I sit here with tears of happiness because in this very moment I have realized I once excepted a label like such and today I am free from feeling that way. We were all made for a purpose we all matter, beautifuly and wonderfully made!