I have been super busy lately.. working full time and going to school and doing an internship... and trying to remember to breath through it all. Life is anything but easy right now and its really easy to think just give up. Not in the sense of living but just settle. As a single mother it's hard to find balance and be a good mother. The devil knows exactly how to get at me and that's by those lies.. You are not a good mother, your kids never see you. You will always work and they will not know you. They already don't have their dad in their lives.
But I know that these are lies!!! At times though its very hard to not listen to those lies. Then my other stress is dealing with McKenzies dreams... her gymnastics dreams. Its a struggle to pay for it but how can I pull her out and devastate her and crush her dreams. That could be something that changes her entire life... so I continue on... Taking overtime to help pay for gym and my parents help, my sister is helping, family does all of the fundraisers that we must do. But ouch is it all painful.. right in my heart. I can tell that I have began to have lots of stress and anxiety. God I know you are real and I know you are by my side but how long must I struggle? I do believe you only give us what we can handle but I feel like I am at the end.
