Another Day goes by..

So I am finding it hard to sleep at night I keep having dreams about shootings. I am finding also that at night I am so tired but when I go lay down in bed I become very restless, tossing and turning. So I just took a nap and it felt soo good, no bad dreams, it was so peaceful. Another day goes by and I get a call from my friend with more news, Our friend who did the shooting was released on a 50,000 dollar bond which means his bail was 500,000. So I we were both thinking about how this person is someone we know and yet it's scary that he was released. Will he try to contact my girlfriend??? "Another day goes by and it gets harder Miki". I am guessing its just getting harder for her cause the shock is wearing off, reality is wearing in. Its really a long journey ahead of her I told her as she deals with her emotions and both families emotions of going through sadness, anger, confusion. Its really only going to get more complicate before it gets any easier. Court hearings.... investigations. Really its a hard situation to be in and I cant imagine, I am just trying to do my best to be there for her.... across the counrty.

Sex... Drugs... Rock and Roll... and MURDER?????

I have changed the names in the following information to protect the innocent and not so innocent.



So I received a text early Sunday morning that was quite disturbing it said "Matthew shot John six times in the back last night, I am too upset to talk about it but maybe you can pray."
Since it was a close friend of mine that sent the text and an old friend that I use to be close to that did the shooting I needed to know more. Not to mention John who was shot was my friends 10 month old daughters father. Hmmm So I was wondering was John still alive or did he die??... and she confirmed that he died almost instantly in front of her he said " I have been shot baby, I have been shot" and then he fell and died almost instantly. I then ask did Matthew go to jail?? Why?? what was he thinking?? I am so confused I dont understand it.. I mean who really thinks someone they know will be a murderer?? I am hurt for my very good friend who had to witness this all and who now has to someday explain to her daughter what happened. I am hurt for my friend who did the shooting because he willingly just gave up his life here on earth by commiting such an act.
I am left with so many questions and so much confusion. It makes you wonder what kind of a person does this and well my life use to be crazy when I hung out with Matthew it was Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll and well he stayed there in that party lifestyle and now MURDER???? But why??? Two life tragically changed that now tragically will effect many others. I am not sure in the point in the post but just to express my sense of confusion... you think you know someone and yet one act changes it all. Please pray for the families of both Men and for my friend and her daughter. Pray that my friend will find peace, that the visions of her EX dying will be erased from her head.

Monumental Moments

I was once involved in this acting activity where we were not really acting. We were asked to think of a time in history that was monumental to us. To go back and recall it, relive it and to tell our story. One older lady chose the day JFK was assasinated, I remember her saying that she was shopping in the grocery store and they came over the loudspeaker to announce his death. She recalls stopping to listen and then walking through the store, quiet, and in disbelief. Some people had collapsed there on the floors and were sobbing. I remember a girl my age saying her moment was the columbine shooting. She was at home that day, out sick and she sat glued to the tv, tears rolling down her face, fear that this may happen to her school.
So on a day like today a monumnetal day in the history of the United States we all look back to September 11, 2001, We Remember, we Relive it. We know where we were who we were with. Of these tragic Monumental times in US history there brought sadness and grief, but have you noticed that following was people uniting, joining together. Our country has never felt as united as the days to follow September 11th and when I look around today I see, that we HAVE forgotten. Not what happened but how strong of a country we are, what our countrys foundation was built upon, who me must go to and lean on and let lead. We as a country are like we as individuals its in our times of crisis and need we call out to God above, asking why, pleading for help, and trusting in him that it will all be okay. So when I am asked to look back and think about this day, I see the pictures in my head of firefighters bowed in prayer, people reaching out to help strangers. I see what God intended, for us to be a nation of ONE. One God, ONE PRAYER!