My Journey in life has been nothing short of a poster child for Gods grace, mercy and forgiveness, his unfailing love. Most people don't know that as a 6 year old I was molested and raped by 2 teenage boys and their younger brother who was my age... For many of years I didn't ever tell a single soul in fact it wasn't till about 3 years ago maybe that I told someone, my mother for the first time. I carried guilt and shame. Throughout my teen years I felt insecure, ugly and unworthy to be loved by anyone, I went down a destructive path by dropping out of school in 11th grade moving out and the parties started. Drinking became a daily ritual, to the point of blackout. I can remember many times we had no food in our fridge we had hello shots beer vodka and OJ. I began to live a very premiscous life, at the time I thought it made me feel good, wanted, desired and loved. I eventually began dancing to make money and was a sex symbol to every man that laid his eyes on me. At the time I felt like this was all okay, I thought I was gaining confidence. It wasn't until years latest that I realized that because men looked at me as a sex object that is where I set myself worth. Through out this time I knew deep down I was destined to do more, new more and live a more fullfilling life, but how?? I had messed up to much. How could any man want me, I was used goods. How could God use me I was no example. But you see I AM NOT THAT GIRL, I am made perfect in his image, God makes all things beautiful. I know I deserve to be loved and sure there are days the devil whispers in my ear And I have to fight those thoughts of no worth. Gods Love is amazing and his word says he washes us white as snow. I would like to share this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spkhp41ig4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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