So late last night I started getting phone calls, wondering how Tim (kyleighs dad) was doing. Funny they think I would know. He has made sure to avoid us since last July. The only stuff I know is from his best friends and the people around town. Well He had his MS stike back last week on his 30th birthday and couldnt feel his legs. Tim has been paralized from the neck down before and has gone through MS at its worst but he was blessed to come out of it... so since this was happening he was going to the hospital to get his steroid shots. They are to help fight the MS. For those of you who do not know what MS is... it is a disease where the spine deteriates but also there is damage to the myelin sheath...so basically the dignals that go to your brain to tell it how to works..well the signals stop getting there. Yesterday morning Tim went into the hospital his Pancrease was said to be failing. he seems to be doing a little bit better but is in alot of pain and it is very dangerous. Since I had not talked to Tim since July, when I have people calling me because they were not giving him much time.... I kinda FREAK. I have had an Ex that passed away and even if you are not with them it hurts real bad. I have lost a lot of friends growing up in fact... one friend every from 7th grade through high school. Then I had a 4 year break and lost my uncle and then Ryan my Ex, so loosing someone to death isint something new to me but loosing someone who I had once been intimate with was so I still suffer alot from that one. Everyday I think about Ryan and think the what ifs. Needless to say when I was hearing all this about Tim...I was so scared cause he had not yet mended a relationship with his daughter and well I wanted him to know I cared about him and I was worried I wanted him to know that I did not hate him. Yes I am very heart broken by the choice he is making to not be a part of his life but I dont hate him. So after talking to his brother today and finding out that he is doing alright but is in alot of pain I decided I was going to call him. So I called and he answered..sounding terrible and I said "Tim, please dont hang up the phone and listen. This is Miki and I just wanted to say that I am worried about you and I care about you, I am so sorry you are going through this and I am praying for you. I also wanted to let you know I dont hate you. I care so much about you." He said Thanks and then I said I could tell he was not feeling well and I would let him go so he said bye.
I NO matter what I have done if God could pick up a telephone and call me when I am down I think he would do the same. He wouldnt remind me of my wrongs, we wouldnt scorn me but he would say " I am here, I am always here. I love you so much, I hurt when you hurt and I want nothing more than for your pain and hurting to stop. I have forgiven you so let it go, dont you know you can always count on me." Please pray for Tim. Pray that see Gods love for him, pray that he revive his relationship with all three of his daughters.
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