The woman at the well

So I am still reading the book "Messy Spirituality" and I am about half way through the book and while all of what I read so far is great, I just read chapter 4. Chapter 4 is about rejection and I really connected with this chapter because rejection is somthing that I face and fear. Although throug my journey I am finding how much I matter to God and I KNOW that he has forgiven me of my past I am not sure I am allowing it. I know it sounds funny its like if someone were to offer you a give and you say yeah thanks but you can keep it. I know my life matters to Christ I know I have purpose and in most ways I have accepted Christs forgivness. However when it come to dating and guys, I still find it hard to think that I can a have a "Godly Man, Christ follower" I just feel like there is no way they are going to want me. I am "used goods" and I think that there is no way they are going to want to take on me and my girls, they will want to form a family of their own. I know that I am on my to healing through it though because I use to just date whoever because I felt unworthy of anything good of a man who was shaped in Christs image, a man who loved me and made me the prize (2nd to God of course). I have always felt like the runner up, the consolation prize. You know should the winner not be able to fulfill her duties and live to the expectations then I was good enough. Now I am not willing to settle and although I have a hard time thinking that I am deserving, I now have hope. Because I have hope I am not willing to settle for anything less. Does this mean I am healing? Am I that woman at the well?? Yes!!! God has forgiven me and he knows my heart and it's desires. I am praying that I learn how to accept Gods forgiveness. I know my heart, God knows my heart and my hearts desire is to honor him.

Again if you didnt catch the book I was reading it is "Messy Spirituality" By;Michael Yaconelli and the Story of the woman at the well comes from John 4. In chapter four of Messy Spirituality they talk of this story.